Amazing…

Well, I feel so much better than I really thought that I would. I feel like a literal weight has been taken off of me. Okay, I’d probably better explain what’s making me feel so good.

[audio:02 – Happy Girl.mp3]

Last week, my Principal asked me when my return date would be from my maternity leave just in passing in the morning, and I told him it wouldn’t be until after Christmas. Then, I ran down to my classroom and called Adam. We decided we needed to tell him that I wasn’t going to return after my maternity leave. So, during my plan, I marched down to the office, and I told him that “Adam and I were in a position that would allow us to have me stay home. We felt like it was important; so I won’t be returning after I have the baby.”

He was incredibly supportive of my decision and completely respected it (as everyone else has been too). He was glad that I told him, and I felt better about not having to lie to everyone anymore. But, I had no idea what the district was going to do to me. I wondered if I would be allowed to use my maternity leave or if they would just terminate my employment as soon as I had the baby. So, I was worried about that, but it wasn’t weighing on me (or so I thought)

Then yesterday, I got an email from the Personnel Director asking me when my due date was and my estimated return date was. So, I emailed her back and set up a meeting with her. I was so stressed and worried the rest of the day. I kept running through the unpleasant conversations, the terrible things that were going to happen to me, and everything that could basically go wrong. (I am learning to be better about not doing this, but sometimes old habits just come back).

Poor Adam, I even got all upset at him over nothing. He’s been so great with everything, and I appreciate all the help he gives me. He’s the one who keeps me calm a lot of the time. He’s been incredibly patient with me. I don’t deserve all that he gives me, but I digress.

I had my meeting today with the personnel director. She told me that I need to resign my post with an effective date of January 1. So, that way I can have my maternity, I will be a real resource for my “replacement” (since he/she has to communicate with me during my maternity), and I get to help chose my “replacement.” I feel like I will be able to really contribute to making the transition easier.

So, now, I have more energy; I’m happier coming home from school than I have been the whole year. I my muscles aren’t killing me. I feel physically lighter and just down right better. I had no idea the stress not knowing about how work was going to handle my maternity was weighing on me. It was really impossibly for me to know the difference between normal pregnancy symptoms and stress. Now that I’m getting all my ducks in a row, I feel great and know the difference!

Simply Amazing.